I Carry You With Me. Film directed by Heidi Ewing
Reviewed by August Cosentino
As we conclude our yearly celebration of being American, let us pay tribute to those who had to struggle to get here. I am speaking of course about immigrants, about whom Lin-Manuel Miranda said in Hamilton, “they get the job done.”
Now imagine these immigrants are undocumented, from Mexico, and—wait for it—gay.
In “I Carry You With Me,” director Heidi Ewing chronicles the true story of Ivan (Armand Espitia), a resident of Puebla, who is the estranged husband of Paola (Michelle Gonzalez), and father to a young son. He lives a closeted life as a gay man washing dishes in homophobic, backwater Mexico (circa late 1990s) who suddenly finds himself wrapped up in a secret affair with Gerardo (Christian Vazquez), a graduate student from a wealthy family.
Ivan is tortured not only by his sexual identity but by his inability to make it as a chef, something he trained for a Mexican culinary institute. He decides the only way he can be free to be gay, and become a bona-fide chef, is to leave Mexico, as well as abandon his young son (Paco Luna) and his parents.
Obviously this is not as easy as buying a ticket on AeroMexico.
The film then documents the grueling journey Ivan and his friend Sandra (Michelle Rodriguez) take, escaping across the border and eventually winding up in New York City. The travails he faces once he arrives in 212 are significant, but without giving too much away, everything works out. Sort of.
“I Carry It With You” refers to the loss and heartbreak people like Ivan face once they decide to separate from their homeland, and their families, whether because of their immigrant status or their sexuality. In this extraordinary case, it is both.
The film, quiet but powerful, and winner of the audience award at Sundance 2020,
is based on the real-life circumstances of Ivan and Gerardo who currently live in Brooklyn. They were initially reluctant to make the film because of their fear of deportation but finally decided the risk was worth it. No doubt to remind us that immigrants, as well as their contributions, are what really makes America great.